High school is home to many things: a middling education, seasonal depression, enough teenage angst to fill three oceans, but most importantly—juicy romance. While many of these student relations are wholesome and totally age-appropriate, many are not. Some people might flaunt the title “Most Likely to Date a Freshman” like a crown, but most wouldn’t want to be known as the senior who chases fourteen-year-olds.
One of the big issues with significant age gaps in high school dating is the vast difference in mental development. While a couple years in the grand scheme of things may not seem like a large difference, and when both parties are over the age of twenty it may not be, but when it’s during high school it is a lot more problematic. One person is fresh out of middle school, while the other is legally allowed to vote and about to go off to college.
“When you’re a freshman, I wouldn’t say you’re immature, but I would think the difference in maturity kind of makes it harder for relationships,” sophomore JR Julio said.
While the juniors and seniors have had a couple of extra years to mature and grow as people, freshmen and sophomores still haven’t nearly had enough time to develop to the same level as the former. This maturity gap can cause significant conflict and friction due to a difference in values.
With underdevelopment comes naivety, and with naivety comes exploitation. It is very easy for the younger person to lose themselves in trying to become the person they think their older partner wants them to become.
“She would definitely try to fit into his standards instead of just being herself. I feel like it’s just really awkward and weird,” sophomore Emine Atajanova said.
It is common for these individuals to start acting “older” or more mature for someone of their age, or to ignore any alarms going off in their head when urged to do something—often intimate or sexual—to please their partner so that the relationship continues. This can then lead to severe sexual assault or abuse due to the younger person’s ignorance being exploited.
This can also lead to isolation and the loss of friends. What will often happen is the underclassmen will begin spending all of their time with the older person, creating tension within their friendships. When slowly but surely all of their relationships become strained and eventually are broken off, they are left with no one to lean on or confide in about the relationship. This also means there’s no one to help them see the blaring issues with their situation.
All of these components can make for stilted and overall toxic relationships. While it is true that being a teenager is all about exploring, making mistakes, and trying new things—when it comes to romance, if the grades don’t touch, neither should you!
